My point of view

Sorry that I have to blog this out. Sometimes, it's better to express something by writing it down than speaking it out.
First of all, sorry if what we did hurt you. I really don't know that you wanted to take pre-babydolls-photo shoot. If I were to know about it, I will wait till Chang finishes taking everyone's photos. The reason why I went to the stall earlier is not because I hate sun, but more to because I see nothing that I can do there (photo shoot location). We called you to join us to go to the stall but you asked us to go first. So I thought you wanted to take photo with May. Didn't know that you wanted to take photos together with us.
Next, when we were about to go, we didn't call you at first. We saw you taking photos with Zyarfan, so we thought of giving you chance. Plus, we can wait (seriously and honestly we wanted to wait, we don't mind). So, me and Miley went to the car first to wait there (this is where wan told you that we wanted to leave you when in actual fact, we were just waiting in the car). Suddenly, it got darker and windy. It's sign of raining. Then, we called you. Mas called you, everyone was panic because our cloth were still drying outside. Then the awkward moment came.

#Sorry for the names mentioned above.
#This is from my point of view. I wrote this not to justify myself but rather to clear things out. It's not good to leave things unsaid. Even if it's just a small matter, I still believe that both side need to know what actually happened.
#Both parties are being insensitive of each other's situation. There is no one to blame. Nobody is wrong, it's just we need to understand each other's situation.

Quoted from gossip girl: "There are two sides to every story"

Thank you.

Wondering

My curiosity level is so high and always be...
I am always wondering and will keep on wondering...
Have you ever loved me?
You know, it is so hard to predict people's feeling, especially human being. We don't know what lies inside them. We don't know if they hate us, love us, envy of us, or even when they angry at us.
We don't know!
We can only know if that someone tells/shows his/her feeling. Yes, one of it is through their actions.
But again, human being is so weird. Some love to hide their feelings. How are we supposed to know then?
The answer is...
We will never know..haha

Living in uncertainty is what certain in our life peeps.

Upset

Liverpool lost the game. Manchester United won. Liv scored 1 goal whereas Man u scored 2. I'm quite upset. The referee was bias. Where is the spirit of football? The game supposed to be fair and square. But instead the opposite happened. Well, this is what happen in real world. #sigh

Satisfaction

Finally, I got the time to really sit and update my blog. The entry for today is called satisfaction. There are so many things that I wanted to share. First, let's us see the list of the things that I should do. Some I already done, some haven't started at all. There are so many things listed and each comes one after another. Everything started on the 13 of september. It's not that we didn't have work to do before that. There were some tasks we did, it's just that it did not come right after the other just finished.

Here's the list:
1. PBS at Sk Jalan Arang (13-15 september). 
Supposedly it have to be 5 days, but on the 16 and 17, the school was holidays. At first, we called it heaven, holidays what. After we came back to campus, we were shock because we NEED TO REPLACE THAT 2 DAYS!
2. Teaching of grammar assignment: Reflection for microteaching and PBS report. 
This was hell. We were asked to hand it in during holiday. WHAT? I know right. But, because of her being too pushy, we no need to worry about the assignment for grammar anymore. Everything is done. Yay!!
3. BIG (27-30 of august)
4. Unit beruniform camp (3-6 of september)
It was tiring, lots of things happened, storm, lightning, torture, sunburn. But it was fun and something we will remember later. Experience.
5. PBS report (7/9)
6. BIG report (10/9)
7. Storytelling (11/9) 
I thought it would be on the 11th but we had to stop before my turn. I did it on the 14th. Can u imagine the pressure that I felt because I had to worry about it for 3 days. Luckily I've done it. Not the best in the class but the BEST out of me. My first time conducting a storytelling session.
8. Lesson Plan for teaching writing (14/9)
9. EDU summary for 3 journals and a reflection (14/9)
10. My artwork (individual and group work) (17/9)
I started it on the 15th till 17th. Lots of pressure, tension, stress throughout these 3 days. Lack of sleep, cannot go back home, emotionally distracted (I saw that-somebody-that-i-used-to-know at maktab, why la). The individual has been put up yesterday. The group one just completed this morning at 3.30 am. Slept for few hours only. Effect: Wake up late this morning. Anyway, I am so happy looking at my artwork, both the individual and the group one. For the group one, thanks to my other group member, everyone contributed. Everyone stayed up till morning.
11. Reflection for the storytelling. (18/9)
History! I did it on the day I have to hand it in because we had to finish the group work last night. I did 1000 plus words for about 1 hour. Epic! Never did this before, would not attempt to do it again. Really don't have time to do it during weekend. All because of Seni..huhu
12. TKRS portfolio (19/9)
13. Individual and group portfolio for PSV.
EDU lesson plan. Both on the 20th.
14. Ujian akhir kursus. (25/9)
15. Microteaching for teaching writing. (26/9)
16. Reflection (a week after the microteaching)

I wrote all these not to show off to people about what I did. I wrote this so that when I read it later, I'll smile and tell myself, "didn't know that I'm that strong".

My friend said something this morning. I cannot recall the exact words she said but what I remember is GOD gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers. 

Well, picture speaks thousands  of words. Let's see:

Rojak

This is certainly how I feel right now..

Stress

Recently, my workload is increasing. Not only assignments, I have to think about the timetable. Every lecturers want to have extra class. We are not robots, we need times to rest, time to do our assignments. This greatly affects me. My mood is unstable. I have pimples on my face. This is unusual. Usually, I only emotionally unstable when I'm going to have my period. But I have just finished it. These are really effects of STRESS.
So many thing is going on recently. Since the day we came back from PBS, we had to go for BIG at Serian, UB Camp at Lundu, do the BIG report, PBS report. And then, next week we have to do pameran for Pendidikan seni visual. The worst thing is that, I haven't started on my hasil kerja. At first, I wanted to spend my weekends with my family but looking at the situation now, I don't think I can. Hopefully I can go back even just for a day, missing them alot.
We had missed so many classes when we were out. I still have storytelling to do. I am so worried of my performance later.
Stress, stress, stress...
God, you are the greatest of all. Please be with me, give me strength in facing all of this. If I am tired, if I am weak, if I want to surrender, if I stumble, take my hand. Walk with me, don't leave me alone. Amen.