Friday, December 10, 2010

something you really want but you can't have it.

my room!! i want it damn much but i can't spend my time in it anymore. maybe just for a while only, but not as before. the smell of it makes me alive, it smell so fresh. i really miss the time when i can stay in my room for the rest of the day without ever thinking bout 'kede'. staying at my secondary room, gosh, it is suffocating me. i can't breath. i have to adapt myself to the different environment, different people, different daily routines. it's hard but i have to. and talking about people, seriously, staying at a small community is sucks. everything u do, people will make a big fuss about it. they don't have other important things to do isn't it??? what the hell, if my home is messy, why do you bother about it. its my home!! honestly, i prefer staying at a place where no one is bother about other's business. isn't it easy, my business is mine, and yours are yours.  how i wish i can say like this in front of their faces. but i can't!!! because it is considered rude. because we as a young people should respect old people that are acting like BULLSHIT!!
bdw, here got a song's lyric that i really like. 

WALI BAND AKU SAKIT LYRICS

Aku sakit Bila menatap matamu
Sadarku Bahwa engkau bukan milikku
Aku sakit Bila ku mengagumimu
Sadarku Kau tak pernah mengagumiku

Bangunkan Aku dari tidur panjangku
Sadarkan Aku dari mimpi tentangmu
Kusalah Bila ku berharap padamu
Salahku Paksa kau tuk mengagumiku

Kau tak tahu Perasaanku
Dan ku tak mau Kau tahu

Aku sakit Jika kau tahu hatiku
Karena Diriku tak berarti bagimu
Aku sakit Bilakah kau sembuhkan aku
Tak mungkin Tak mungkin sungguh tidak mungkin

Bangunkan Aku dari tidur panjangku
Sadarkan Aku dari mimpi tentangmu
Kusalah Bila ku berharap padamu
Salahku Paksa kau tuk mengagumiku

Kau tak tahu Perasaanku
Dan ku tak mau Kau tahu

Bangunkan Aku dari tidur panjangku
Sadarkan Aku dari mimpi tentangmu
Kusalah Bila ku berharap padamu

Kau tak tahu Perasaanku
Dan ku tak mau Kau tahu

Aku Sakit 

damn, what i feel is totally same with this song's meaning.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

this was when my family and i went to my maternal grandparents' graves. i really miss them especially my maternal grandfather, babai. babai, we miss u. everyone is missing u and we pray that you will be placed in God's kingdom. Amen. your absence leaves a big impact on us all until now, we miss your jokes, we miss your laughs, we miss your gifts. we miss everything about you. when you left us, it was as if we had lost the light that brightening our days...

Friday, October 22, 2010

Intro...

whoa!! intro, sounds familiar...lol, don't be stressed out.. this is not a formal essay, it's just the introduction of my blog. actually, to be honest, i don't know what should i write here.. for me, blog is like a public diary. the only difference between blog and personal diary is that blog is a suitable place for you to express your feelings(happy, sad, angry, and so on) towards people that you know. however, you don't want to hurt them by telling the truth face to face. therefore the best solution is through blog. with God's will, they might read your blog accidentally and know their mistakes. hopefully by this, they will change... and one more, i have the rights to write whatever i want!!! if i do mistake in my language, i am so sorry!!! for your information, i am still in the process of LEARNING!!!