Slowly, I am accepting the reality.
It's hard but I am trying, really I am trying even though it is hard.
Reality is never there to please you.
Reality is something you have to accept, like medicine. You got to eat it even though it does not taste nice.
Stopping myself from doing what I shouldn't really needs a lot of effort and courage as well.
What is even worse, I am going through all of this alone.
Fighting the unseen and the invisible.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
The end of the fourth semester
I do believe when people say that life is hard. It is hard, really really hard.
Our examination for this semester has just ended yesterday. I'm not that happy though with my performance. I know I didn't do well, especially for my major papers. For the first two papers, at least I know what I was doing but after that, when I sat for my grammar paper especially, I felt nothing. I was discouraged, hopeless, tired and I was thinking a lot.
I felt so distracted. Maybe I made a wrong choice by going back home during the All souls' day. What happened back at home really distracted me. However, everything was done. I just pray everything will be okay. What I can do now is to leave everything to god. I hope that everyone can pass all the papers for this semester. Please God, please listen to our prayers.
Recently, I have this hard feeling towards my own friend. I hope I can forget it for the sake of our friendship. God, give me the courage to do it. I really hope I can forget it. I know that me myself is not good either.
This might be my last entry for this year. I might not have the opportunity to write later during holiday. Happy Holidays my fellow teslians, we deserve it and Merry Christmas everyone. May this joyful celebration brings happiness to everyone.
Till then...
Monday, November 5, 2012
A friend who hurts her own friend
"Please do self-reflection before you do remarks on others! Kata orang, "Paku dulang paku serpih, mengata orang dia yang lebih". Even your best friend will be your enemy if you still have this kind of attitude."
This is my post dedicated to my own friend. She used to be my best friend, my closest friend. Let me emphasize, she used to.
Now, it seems like she is making a gap between us.
I was hurt by her once when she didn't even remember my birthday. Forget the part that she didn't even wish, that is still fine. But when we came back to campus, she didn't even look like she cares.
Yah, I realise one thing about you my dear friend, you never care about other people, not even your own friend.
You only care about yourself. Through my eyes, I see that you are selfish. You bullied your closest friend, you dumped all the works to her, I saw that my dear friend, I saw it with my own eyes. You are heartless.
People say that you are cruel, you always give harsh remarks. Before this, I just kept quiet because I have nothing to say, you never gave me any remarks, YET.
Today, this morning, you have hurt me. Your remarks are so harsh and it is so painful. You said "you withdraw first, then pay her, she will be ok". Seriously, that is how you value me.
I know I am so particular about my money. Because it is my money. I earn it myself, I save it myself. If you borrow, of course you would have to pay back. Pandai pinjam pandai lah bayar balik. I am not rich, I value money because I see how hard my parents earn money. Do you? But when it comes to sending my friend, let me emphasize, I NEVER ASK YOU TO PAY MY PETROL!! NEVER!! I am sincere when I send you here and there. I know, sometimes I am cold, quiet, that is because I am like that. When I have nothing to say, I shut off my mouth. Plus I have to focus on the road. Sometimes I hesitate to go out, that's because I also need rest. I am a sleepyhead, if I do not get my sleep, my mood will change. My close friends know that. But if you need helps, of course I will help no matter what.
Dear friend, you give remarks on others but you yourself, you are even worst. Eat also you count. Seriously I was shocked when I saw this. I never see people count each and every meat on their plates. That is too much! Yah, we do complaint if the food is expensive, not worth for the money we spent on it. But counting the meats, too much okay!! Yet, you still give remarks on others. This is just about the remarks you gave me, belum lagi remarks you gave to others.
Sedarlah wahai kawan. Now, I can see your true colours. You look like angel from outside but inside, you are so dark, full of darkness.
Looks can be very deceiving!
This is my post dedicated to my own friend. She used to be my best friend, my closest friend. Let me emphasize, she used to.
Now, it seems like she is making a gap between us.
I was hurt by her once when she didn't even remember my birthday. Forget the part that she didn't even wish, that is still fine. But when we came back to campus, she didn't even look like she cares.
Yah, I realise one thing about you my dear friend, you never care about other people, not even your own friend.
You only care about yourself. Through my eyes, I see that you are selfish. You bullied your closest friend, you dumped all the works to her, I saw that my dear friend, I saw it with my own eyes. You are heartless.
People say that you are cruel, you always give harsh remarks. Before this, I just kept quiet because I have nothing to say, you never gave me any remarks, YET.
Today, this morning, you have hurt me. Your remarks are so harsh and it is so painful. You said "you withdraw first, then pay her, she will be ok". Seriously, that is how you value me.
I know I am so particular about my money. Because it is my money. I earn it myself, I save it myself. If you borrow, of course you would have to pay back. Pandai pinjam pandai lah bayar balik. I am not rich, I value money because I see how hard my parents earn money. Do you? But when it comes to sending my friend, let me emphasize, I NEVER ASK YOU TO PAY MY PETROL!! NEVER!! I am sincere when I send you here and there. I know, sometimes I am cold, quiet, that is because I am like that. When I have nothing to say, I shut off my mouth. Plus I have to focus on the road. Sometimes I hesitate to go out, that's because I also need rest. I am a sleepyhead, if I do not get my sleep, my mood will change. My close friends know that. But if you need helps, of course I will help no matter what.
Dear friend, you give remarks on others but you yourself, you are even worst. Eat also you count. Seriously I was shocked when I saw this. I never see people count each and every meat on their plates. That is too much! Yah, we do complaint if the food is expensive, not worth for the money we spent on it. But counting the meats, too much okay!! Yet, you still give remarks on others. This is just about the remarks you gave me, belum lagi remarks you gave to others.
Sedarlah wahai kawan. Now, I can see your true colours. You look like angel from outside but inside, you are so dark, full of darkness.
Looks can be very deceiving!
XOXO,
Love by Michelle.
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