My life at this moment

First, we have just been told that there is no more job security for teacher trainees like us. So, I really have to pull up my socks (as what our lecturers have always said) and pray that everything would be okay for me later on. Most people still do not know about this. People always thought that we (trainees from the teachers' training college) are so lucky. They thought that we would have the guaranteed job but it is all wrong. The selection later on would be based on our academic performance (pointer above 3.0) and also the interview.
Second, I am worried about my degree. It has not been certified yet. The MQA will come during our final year to check whether we (TESL) are qualified enough to be given the degree. So there is a possibility of us studying for 5 and a half years and get nothing. Hopefully, we will manage to satisfy the panelists from MQA (fingers crossed).
Third, I am still could not get rid of some bad feelings. The feelings of jealousy, envious, sad, heartbroken, prejudice etc. O God, please help me to forget these feelings. It makes me a bad girl. I don't want to be a bad girl.
Fourth, I am worried about my family. My brothers as well as my parents. I pray and will always be praying that you come into their life and shine the darkness in their heart. Let them live the good life and practise the life of a good christian. On top of all, I pray that you open my father's heart so that he will join us all as a catholic.
Lastly, I am still waiting for my tall, dark and handsome man..hehe, influenced by the novels that I read. I did meet some good men before but there are just not for me. Maybe I am not good enough to be paired with them. Maybe I don't deserve good man. But I am changing now and I believe that God will meet me with someone who is good once I am ready.